Category: LGBTQ Issues

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Civil Rights LGBTQ Issues My News

Still Matthew

After all of these years I just found out that Matthew Shepard was a tiny 5’2″ in height. A bit in the news from Orlando’s Pulse massacre got me reading about him again and it broke my heart anew.

I remember being absolutely devastated by his story as a scared 15 year old with no hope of being able to tell anyone in my life who I really was or what I was dealing with. Matthew was me and I there wasn’t much hope.

Home was certainly unwelcoming for who I really was, I would find no solace there, and with Matthew’s murder it seemed the world was also against me. There were so many times I saw no possible positive future for myself.

I genuinely believed I was the only gay person in my town of 32,000 people. I thought there were maybe 7 or 8 gay people in my entire state of 4 and a half million. I was very, very alone.

Matthew Shepard

I persevered because regardless of my own inevitable unhappiness, I wanted to be able to make a difference in other people’s lives. I bounced around a bit on what I wanted to be: a high school counselor, a teacher, a youth pastor, and ultimately a social worker, but it was always my hope to be able to help adolescents. That remains something I still hope for today, and have been able to put into action in many ways, though not yet as a career.

I have vivid memories from a couple years after Matthew’s murder of sneaking off to my parent’s bedroom when MTV aired their “Anatomy of a Hate Crime” movie about his murder. I pretended to be watching the news when my mom checked in to see what I was doing, making fast use of the “last” button on the remote control to cover myself. I sat on the edge of my parents’ bed trying to keep my tears to a minimum in case one of them walked in.

Matthew Shepard

I felt like my chest was imploding from grief while feeling as though the rest of me were going to explode from the effort it took to prevent all out sobs. I wept for Matthew, but I also cried because there was a community at home and around the world that loved him and accepted him and didn’t think he deserved death as my church and my family had taught me he and all gays did. It was a glimmer of hope that I desperately needed. I wish I could beam a message back to that kid and tell him how much better things would get. To let him know that the community that loves him unconditionally is so much larger and stronger and warmer than he could possibly imagine, and to just hang on.

I read a series of tweets from an older lesbian earlier who was distraught over the Pulse massacre and recounted Stonewall and how the different generations after her have had their own symbols, including Matthew Shepard. Someone in the comments indicated they were in their early 20s and remarked that they had to look up who Matthew Shepard was because they had never heard of him. I guess it never occurred to me that there are young adults alive now who have never heard Matthew’s name. I don’t know why, but that hit me as incredibly tragic. It’s important to remember the names, the faces, the stories – they are all a part of our DNA as a community and a society and a reminder to work toward the kind of world we want for our children.

And though I never knew him, I will always mourn Matthew. I imagine the man he’d be today, that tiny, fragile frame having filled out some with age as he approached his 40th birthday this year. I wouldn’t know him, and that would be just fine because he’d be out there in the world happy and fulfilled living an ordinary life, not fated to being anyone’s tragic symbol.

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Civil Rights Entertainment Humor LGBTQ Issues News Politics Videos

Throwing Shade Coming To TV!

I’ve been listening to the Throwing Shade podcast with Erin Gibson and Bryan Safi for a few years now after falling in love with Bryan’s “That’s Gay” segments on the show infoMania on the former Current TV. The show summarizes itself as “taking a weekly look at all the issues important to ladies and gays… and treating them with much less respect than they deserve.” It’s hilarious while also focusing attention on important issues in our culture.

The great news is now they’re branching out into late-night TV! The show will be on TV Land, but unfortunately we’ll have to wait until early 2017 to see it. I’m greatly looking forward to it, and I really hope they keep the same incredibly inappropriate edge they have in the podcast.

https://youtu.be/sbUqUtljbjk

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Civil Rights LGBTQ Issues News WTF

A Sad Update on (State Protected) Russian Hate Crimes

When I talked about the awful situation in Russia in my post a couple of weeks ago, barely anyone was covering the story. I’m glad to see that now has changed, and it’s getting much wider coverage. Still no movement in Russia, but at least the word is out there.

I am sad to report however that news is coming in that indicates the young man whose photo I used in my previous post has died from injuries he sustained while being tortured by the homophobic mob pictured.

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According to human rights activist Dr. Valentin Degtyarev, MD, who has been reporting on the “Occupy Pedofilyaj” group, after being tortured and humiliated, the man was beaten with bats and apparently had some sort of liquid foam injected into his body. Dr. Degtyarev reports that no charges have been filed and no arrests have been made.

He also stated that after notifying the authorities of the crimes being committed he was told they could see no wrongdoing in any photos or videos posted by the group and that they consider the group to be one of the local “civil movements fighting the sins of the society.”

These monsters make no attempt to disguise their identities in any of their photos or videos. They feel protected by Russia’s recent laws to criminalize homosexuality. Even telling a child that gay people exist is now a crime.

 

 

Above is a video I pulled from one of the group member’s social networking pages before it was take down. It shows the beginning of the incident after fooling the victim into showing up at what was supposed to be another gay man’s home.

I do not know what else to say. I am hoping the information is inaccurate, but fear it likely is not. As more information becomes available I will share it. In the meantime please spread the word and sign this petition: https://www.allout.org/en/actions/russia-attacks

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Civil Rights LGBTQ Issues News WTF

Russian Hate Crimes–Why Isn’t This News?

Russian extremists using social media to target, attack LGBT youth

Russian Neo-Nazis Allegedly Lure, Torture Gay Teens With Online Dating Scam

Putin’s Crackdown on LGBT Teens in Russia [WARNING: May be difficult to watch]

 

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Throughout Russia there are groups of Neo-Nazi assholes emboldened by Russia’s recent anti-gay laws who are fooling gay teens into meeting up with them only to humiliate, torture, and at least in one case, murder them.

Why aren’t we hearing about this? Even finding links for this post was a bit of a struggle. These guys aren’t hiding their faces. They aren’t wearing ski masks while they commit these awful crimes. Look at them, they’re smiling and they’re fucking proud of what they’re doing. Now that the law basically makes it a crime to be gay, who cares, right?

 

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I’m going to have to agree with Dan Savage on this one, and start boycotting Russian companies that market to the gay community in the western world but do not speak up for our queer brothers and sisters in their own backyard.

In addition, the 2014 Winter Olympics will be held in Sochi, Russia. The pressure needs to start increasing. This needs to be on the front page as the Olympics approach.

Start by signing this petition to call for the freezing of financial assets of those committing these crimes and deny them entry into the US. Secondly, spread the word. This needs to start getting publicity. The world is about to spend hundreds of millions of dollars in Russia during the Olympics. We pressured China over their human rights violations when they hosted, and it’s time to do the same for Russia.

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Civil Rights LGBTQ Issues

Judy and the Legacy of Matthew Shepard

This past Monday I had the good fortune to hear Judy Shepard speak on Auraria Campus as a part of her work with The Matthew Shepard Foundation.  11 years after Matthew’s terrible murder she is still traveling around the nation passionately educating on equality.  Through her incredible perseverance and strength she has served as an inspiration to me from the time I was a terrified, closeted teen.

I remember hearing the news at a time when I was still very closeted, wanting to believe that what I was experiencing was a phase.  The people in my life, family, church, etc. all viewed Matthew’s murder with no hint of sympathy.  He was a “faggot” and got what was coming to him, was the general belief.  It’s hard to even type those words, but we all know those mindsets exist, and if you don’t you should get with reality.

I outwardly followed along with their detestable views, but inside I was heartbroken.  I remember when MTV produced a film about Matthew, I couldn’t very well watch it in the living room, so I went into my parents’ bedroom to watch it.  When my mom would come by to see what I was watching, I’d quickly flip to, of all places, Fox News.  I sat in that bedroom in front of the TV, fighting tears and listening closely for approaching footsteps.

As I began typing this I realized that I’ve lived to be 5 years older than Matthew was when he died.  It feels extremely unfair.

The world is a very different place than it was when Matthew was murdered.  Since then Judy has marched, and rallied and spoken hundreds of times.  She has lobbied on Capitol Hill and stood by as very important pieces of legislation have been signed.

I was lucky enough to march with her as we stood outside of the Focus on the Family campus.  I listened as she told them to stop attacking our families, to stop causing so much hurt, to stop encouraging hatred.  I watched as she approached representatives from Focus on the Family and presented them with an album filled with photos of LGBT families, families that Focus on the Family dismisses as illegitimate.

In her speech this past Monday Judy answered a question I have had for 11 years.  Did she support Matthew before he died?  The answer is unequivocally yes.  When Matthew came out to her, she had already known, just her mother’s intuition she guesses.  There was also the fact that as a child he dressed as Dolly Parton several Halloweens in a row, she told us all with a laugh.

She spoke about her entire family and their support of him.  Matthew’s father accepted and supported him as well.  It’s funny how over the years, I’ve wondered about this more than anything.  Did Matthew die knowing that his family loved him unconditionally and that they accepted him for who he was.  I’m relieved and happy to know that the answer is a very strong “YES”.

Judy, thank you.  Thank you for Matthew, thank you for letting us all get to know him, thank you for keeping his memory alive.  Thank you for fighting prejudice and hatred.  Thank you for saying “we” when you speak about the LGBT community.  Thank you for taking your grief and turning it into something so powerful.

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LGBTQ Issues Music

Jennifer Knapp & Derek Webb In Concert

So tonight I went and saw Jennifer Knapp and Derek Webb in concert at the Bluebird Theater here in Denver.  I had been planning to go to this show anyway, having spent my late teens and early twenties listening to Jennifer Knapp’s music as well as Derek Webb’s when he was in the band Caedmon’s Call.  Jennifer Knapp disappeared from the music scene back in 2003 at the height of her popularity with pretty much no explanation for her fans.  She went silent for the most part and people were left to come up with their own guesses as to why.

Pretty much from the start it was rumored that Jennifer Knapp was a lesbian, people claiming inside knowledge from her tours, etc.  I never doubted this, and as time went on I started to become more and more sure it was likely the truth.  Then, a few months ago Jennifer Knapp popped back up.  She became active on Twitter, her web site was once again active, and she announced a new record and a tour.

Then the big news, 3 days ago she announced to The Advocate, Christianity Today, and Reuters that she has been in a same-sex relationship for 8 years.  She did further qualify that this was not the reason she left music, but that her recording/touring schedule had become too draining.  After hearing this news and knowing how violently hateful and disturbingly cruel the Christian community can be to one of it’s own coming out as gay, I knew more than ever that going to her show was more important than ever.  I imagine there were quite a few ticket returns after the news broke.

The show itself was fantastic.  The opening act, Amy Courts, hinted at the what had been going on this week and expressed her sincere support of Jennifer.  The big question for me was if Derek Webb was also supportive; I went through High School listening to his Contemporary Christian music and just wasn’t sure how this was being handled within the tour.

He came through in a big way.  Here are some of the lyrics from songs on his latest album Stockholm Syndrome:

You say always treat people like you’d like to be
I guess you love being hated for your sexuality
You love when people put words in your mouth
About what you believe
Make you sound like a freak….

….If I can see what’s in your heart
By what comes out of your mouth
Then it sure looks to me like being straight
Is all it’s about
It looks like being hated
For all the wrong things
Like chasing the wind
While the pendulum swings

– What Matters More

Not surprisingly Derek’s record label felt that song would be a little too much for his Christian audience to handle and excluded it from all retail releases of the album.  It is available for free on his Web site.

Early on in his set he began to talk about his disgust and very strong negative feelings toward Fred Phelps (you know, the God Hates Fags guy that pickets pretty much everything) and played a song he wrote about Fred Phelps:

(Chorus)
Freddie, please
How could you do this to me
How could you tell me you love me when you hate me
Freddie, please

You know I love you honey
But I’ll bleed you dry with money
I’ll talk where I know you can hear
‘Cause freddie can’t you see
Brother, you’re the one who’s queer

(Chorus)

The stone’s been rolled away
And you’re picketing my grave for loving the things you hate
But why do you seek the living among the dead

(Chorus)
Freddie, please
How could you do this to me
How could you tell them you love me when you hate me
Freddie, please

So, I don’t know exactly where Derek Webb falls theologically (nor does it change my life), but I was thrilled that Jennifer Knapp was surrounded by such great people.

Jennifer didn’t directly address her coming out, but it was eluded to in passing and the situation is felt very heavily in the songs of her new album.  Her album comes out on May 11, and I strongly encourage anyone and everyone to check it out.  While you’re waiting, visit her website and listen to the previews.  She’s a very talented artist and more than deserving of our support.

I realize this post may not mean anything to the majority of you that read my blog, but to those of you who know my background, you know what this situation means to me.  Jennifer Knapp was one of a few reassuring voices during some terribly frightening times in my life; her music comforted me and gave me strength.  It is my hope that her recent courage and show of strength serve to reassure all of the terrified, confused GLBT youth in Christian homes who are out there wondering what is wrong with them.  Nothing is wrong, absolutely nothing.

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LGBTQ Issues News Peace & Love

AFA Fail, GAP Win

The crazies over at the American Family Association regularly send me their hysterically funny newsletters, always full of money-begging and fear-mongering.  More often than not the back page will be an ad for some family value voters summit, plastered with photos of Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, etc.  I sometimes forget this is coming from a religious organization and not the RNC.

Last year AFA wanted me to boycott McDonald’s because the company refused to end it’s association with the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.  They sent me a cute little prewritten sticky note that I was to take to my local McDonald’s and stick on the money used to pay for my last McDonald’s meal.  The note would inform the Manager that until McDonald’s stopped siding with moral corruption and became neutral in the “culture war” I simply could not in good conscience spend my hard-earned Christian dollars at the restaurant.  Hilarious, right?  Hilarious, odd, and scary, all swirled into one nightmarish little Neapolitan mix.

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Needless to say, I never dropped off the note at McDonald’s.  And the boycott was a total and complete bust, as McDonald’s stock went up nearly every single day that the boycott was active.  Lots of gays drinking lots of iced coffees, yes, yes we did.

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Jump to my latest mailing from AFA.  GAP INC. IS EVIL!  THEY WON’T SAY “CHRISTMAS” EXCLUSIVELY!  Basically, I’m supposed to boycott all Gap Inc. stores (Banana Republic, Old Navy, Gap, etc.) until after Christmas the Holidays because they’re supposedly censoring “Christmas”.  Unfortunately for the nonexistent credibility of the American Family Association, Gap actually has an ad out now that very obviously says “Christmas” loud and clear:

 

If you think I’m kidding, just click on the video and let it take you to the YouTube page and take a look at the comments.  Here are a few of the crazies:

“More secular paganism to sell more cheap Chinese crap. The boycott will expand to any company who denies Christ.”

“This is supposed to appease those of us who are boycotting Gap, Old Navy and Banana Republic. Just more moral and cultural relativism. Boycott not over.”

“Merry Christmas Gap, may you have no better sales than any other time of year…let’s go to Macy’s who has respect for tradition and values. Throw it all to the wind right? Why believe anything when its all "relative" to what "feels right" to whomever no matter what drugs they are on? ur ok im ok!”

“This is stupid. Do whatever feels right they say. I will not shop there. That feels right. First they refuse to use Christmas in their advertising now they throw it in with Solstice. Disrespectful! I will spend my Christmas dollars elsewhere. Merry Christmas!”

Those few comments are just from the selection made in the last hour, truly terrifying.

Now for the GAP win aspect of this post.  It was just announced today that the profits of Gap Inc. were up 25% in the last quarter.  The timing of AFA’s silly boycott could not have been better.

Now my fair-minded, non-crazy friends, I encourage you to pick up a few extra GAP gift cards this year for your friends and family.  I know these AFA folk probably don’t normally shop at GAP anyway, but I think that regardless it couldn’t hurt for us to support GAP’s spirit of inclusiveness.

Family, friends…yes, you’re getting GAP gift cards.  HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

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Civil Rights LGBTQ Issues News Politics

Matthew Shepard & James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act

Finally!  11 years after Matthew Shepard’s death, the legislation bearing his name has finally made it through Congress and on to the President’s desk.  The Republicans, of course, fought it all along the way but despite their best efforts America has arrived in the 21st century.  It saddens me that Senator Kennedy isn’t here to see this come to fruition, after all of his years fighting for it.

I do wish that the bill could have been sent through Congress on its own accord, but attaching it to a defense bill was the safest bet for getting it through and the Democrats did the right thing in doing so.

 

 

 

Matthew’s parents Judy and Dennis have worked tirelessly to see this happen and I have enormous respect for both of them.  I had the wonderful opportunity to meet Judy at a Soulforce event protesting Focus on the Family and their hurtful, dangerous rhetoric.  She was incredibly sweet and genuine and my heart broke all over again for this women who was thrust into a role that no parent would ever wish for.  Hate took her son from her she chose to go on and fight that hate,  She is my personal hero because of it.

 

 

 

Today as I watched the above videos I stumbled upon this great video which contains the statement that Dennis Shepard gave during the trial of one of Matthew’s murderers.  The audio is from the movie “The Laramie Project”.  It is incredibly moving.

 

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Civil Rights LGBTQ Issues Peace & Love Politics Videos

Gay & Seeking Asylum

I just happened upon this video and it’s very fitting when considering my previous post.  We must work harder to create safe havens for LGBT individuals around the world, until that day when all people are loved, accepted, and safe in their home.

 

I’ve been haunted lately by the images of teenagers Mahmoud Asgari and Ayaz Marhoni as they wept and waited for their execution, pleading for their lives.  There are questions about their case, and whether or not they were executed for their consensual homosexual acts or not, but regardless, hundreds of people are executed in Iran and other places for simply being who they are.

There are people and organizations working to make change around the world.  Please consider joining up with Amnesty International and making a recurring donation.  When atrocities like these and in many other categories appear around the globe Amnesty is always there fighting for justice, peace, and human rights.  I have the utmost respect and gratitude for Amnesty International, and if I’m lucky maybe someday I will work for them.

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Civil Rights LGBTQ Issues Politics WTF

The System Is Broken, But How Do We Fix It?

So, it’s been a while since I’ve posted here but something happened tonight that is just the kind of thing that gets me to blog.  I recently met a guy named Alex and tonight when we were talking I found out his story.  He’s 27, has lived in Colorado for 3 years and is from Peru.  He’s gay and is out here but is not at a point where he feels he can tell his family or anyone back home.  He’s living here illegally; he overstayed a work visa.

I used to be a right-wing crazy who would go nuts over this kind of stuff, then I became a very conflicted and confused “moderate” who didn’t know quite what to do about these things but still strongly felt “they” should all go back and do it legally.  Now I’m a bleeding heart liberal who wants us to throw open our arms and our borders and actually live by “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” 

Why does Alex want to live in America so badly?  He wants to fall in love and be able to live openly and without fear in a same sex relationship.  As we spoke tonight he sadly told me about a close friend of his that was arrested for his immigration status almost 3 months ago.  His friend is from Morocco and is desperate to stay here because he can be jailed for his sexuality if he is sent back home.  He applied for amnesty based on his sexual orientation and was denied.  He appealed and was in the middle of the detailed and exhaustive process when he was was picked up and taken to jail for his illegal status.  He was shipped to a jail near Colorado Springs and remains there almost three months later.

I know we must have immigration laws; I understand that reality, but this is not the answer.  This man is in jail and will likely be sent back to a very unfriendly country where he may be imprisoned for who he is and we don’t consider that important enough for him to stay.

This system is broken, but how do we fix it?